Barcelona to get Neymar to put on weight

Barcelona’s new summer signing Neymar, has been told by doctors at the Spanish club that he needs to put on weight as he is too thin.

Dr. Richard Puna told the official Barcelona site

“My first impression is that Neymar needs to gain a pound or two. Our medical inspection was done quickly and his weight is just another data point.

‘We’ll get to know the player over the course of the season and we’ll constantly add to our data input. With this information we’ll know what his ideal weight should be.

‘The first impression is that he weighs 64.5 kilos and he has a tendency to lose weight. Perhaps he needs to add a kilo or two, but I can’t say exactly how many.’

Barcelona paid £50m for Neymar from Brazilian side Santos.

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Lee Hurley

Writer specialising in good football and bad relationships. If in doubt, assume sarcasm.